I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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