How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize