john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
