He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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