you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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