I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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