I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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