I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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