And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
