Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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