I seem to have left my pride at pride
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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