Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
