That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
