All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
