Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
