Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
