He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
