going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
