remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
