New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She bit a glass in half.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
