I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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