your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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