I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
