Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we're making bets on your personal life
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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