I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
