I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
