Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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