My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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