I heard we made out
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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