I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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