I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
