things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize