...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Randomize
