The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
