Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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