i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
