what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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