capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
