woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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