oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Two words: blizzard sex
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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