I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we're so committed to being not committed
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
