According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
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BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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