Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize