life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
