I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
