We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
