im drinking this country out of the recession.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
