you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Farmville is her only friend.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
