dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
