Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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