Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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