What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
