My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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