he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
