Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
