Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
