Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
look no pants
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize