o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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