I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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