I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
