I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
