I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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