Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Peruvianreader5 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

Fav 11 830 1383
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?

Fav 31 3270 1614
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

Fav 34 5692 1401
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

(732): View more from New Jersey

Career choice validated

Fav 51 10051 1431
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?

Fav 6 1233 613
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

Fav 7 928 820
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.

Fav 2 863 493
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.

Fav 1 157 338
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate

Fav 0 12 42
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT