If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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