i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
