dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you made out with another girl for some wings
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
