You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
