i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
