she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
