i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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