i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
