She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize