So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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