I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
