So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
