I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
