so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis