He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
